Life can be a challenge at times, but standing firm with unbreakable confidence can make a difference in how you handle things. In his well known poem âIfâ, Rudyard Kipling writes, â…if you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirsâŚâ, he is referring to the action of remaining calm and sensible in situations where others are not thinking clearly.
When you have confidence in the decisions you make, and the actions you take, you may find that success and leadership are just two of the benefits you could reap from being a confident person.
But how do you develop an Unbreakable Confidence? Here are 5 Golden Rules that can get you started.
Rule #1: Know Who You Are
In order to have confidence in yourself, it helps to know who you are!
Author, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,
âTo be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.â
Embrace your own uniqueness and donât compare yourself with other people.
Regularly reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and values. Develop a sense of who you are and whatâs important to you. What are you good at? What needs improving?
When your vision is clear as to who you are, you can stand firm in your beliefs and decisions, even when faced with opposition.
If you compromise yourself, your confidence takes a hit. If you act below your standards, you may feel defeated and disappointed in yourself. Maintaining your dignity is imperative to having confidence.
Remember that your self-worth is not dependent on anyone elseâs approval. If you place your value in someone elseâs hands, then you risk losing your confidence when theyâre not building you up. It can be nice to feel acknowledged and appreciated, but that feeling of doing well is most meaningful when it comes from within.
Football player and Head Coach Lou Holtz once said,
âYouâre never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and youâre never as bad as they say when you lose.â
Other peopleâs opinions are just that. Theyâre other peopleâs opinions. The opinion you have of yourself is the most important one to pay attention to.
So know who you are and be a person that youâd like to know!
Rule #2: Embrace Failure as a Teacher
Confidence can feel great. But sometimes, things can get shaken up, and you might begin to doubt yourself. It happens. Everyone makes mistakes. Or maybe you receive some new information that causes you to look at things differently. You may be left feeling off-kilter, not knowing how to believe in yourself again.
Author Maya Angelou said,
âI can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.â
What if you lose your footing and your confidence takes a hit? You might come up with all kinds of reasons to convince yourself youâre a total failure. But wait! Stop right there! When things donât go the way you wanted, review what went wrong, and learn from it. Donât waste time bringing yourself down or focusing on the negative. Donât over-identify with your mistakes!
When you DO make a mistake, which is inevitable, own it. Then start again. Donât allow yourself to give up, or develop a bad self image.
Football Coach Paul Bear Bryant wrote,
âWhen you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and donât repeat it.â
Rule #3: Surround Yourself with Positivity
Staying positive and surrounding yourself with other people who are equally positive and confident can be very supportive.
Do not allow people, mishaps, or circumstances to âdisrupt your energyâ, because energy drain is a confidence killer. Challenges are a regular part of life, but when you get hit by an energy vampire that threatens to drain your confidence and leave you second guessing yourself, itâs time to reevaluate your current environment.
Are the people that you spend most of your time with enhancing your life? Do they help you to keep your head in a positive mindset? Seeing the glass âhalf fullâ can give you the emotional space to think more creatively with optimism. When you feel grounded, without a lot of drama, you can look at things with a sense of clarity.
Dwelling on the negative undermines your stability. You can acknowledge the reality of problems in life, but donât focus and dwell on it. You can be informed about things like news, events, personal pitfalls, and lifeâs difficulties, without focusing on the horrific narrative. And itâs easier to be objective, if youâre coming from a place of calm assuredness and confidence in your own perceptions and abilities.
We donât always get to choose what happens in life, but we can choose how we will respond to it. The 14th Dalai Lama is quoted as having said,
âChoose to be optimistic. It feels better.â
When you feel good, you are more likely to be confident in the choices you make.
Rule #4: Visualize Success
Visualize yourself and others as successful, well, and happy. What you think about, you bring about. Which means that whatever youâre focusing on is where you will put your energy and actions.
Have a clear and unwavering picture in your mind of the person you want to be. One way to do this is to use Visual Mental Rehearsal Techniques. This practice involves using your imagination to picture what you want. In this case, itâs a picture of you with unbreakable confidence.
Create an entire scenario in your mind and use vivid imagery, incorporating sight, sound, and feelings. Research shows that your brain believes what it perceives. So by thinking of yourself as positive and confident, you may strengthen those qualities.
Incorporate kindness and compassion with your visualization, to round out a solid image of yourself. And instill a sense of belief in your abilities.
Inspirational Author Norman Vincent Peale wrote,
âAffirm it, visualize it, believe it, and it will actualize itself.â
Then, is it possible to be TOO Confident? Be mindful to recognize the difference between arrogance and real confidence. When you are confident, you are balanced in rational thought and compassionate action. Donât confuse confidence with arrogance.
Writer and Keynote speaker, Tim Fargo said,
âArrogance is the camouflage of insecurityâ.
When you are sincere in your beliefs and abilities, your confidence will be evident without pretense.
Rule #5: Continuous Self Development
Another way to develop unbreakable confidence is to learn new things, hone your skills, and continue to work on self-development. You donât need to aim for perfection, but rather be the best version of you.
Competence equals Confidence. If thereâs something youâre not confident about, do something about it. Is there something you need to know or do differently to create better outcomes in your daily life? Knowledge can help you develop confidence in your ability to handle situations and do specific tasks. Tolerance and Understanding can help you to be a better person. Think about what you could improve on and work on that.
Read books that help you grow mentally, spiritually, and academically. Watch videos. Take a class or explore a new hobby. Be curious about life, and life will give you more things to be curious about! The more you know, the more confident you can be.
Author Paulo Coelho wrote,
âWhen we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.â
As you work on your own self development, your confidence may be inspiring to others as well.
Final Thoughts
To achieve unbreakable confidence, it helps to know the 5 Golden Rules that can keep you on track and moving forward:
- Know who you are. Be clear on your truths and values and believe in yourself.
- Embrace failure as a teacher. Everybody makes mistakes. Own it and do better next time.
- Surround yourself with positivity. Look for the glass thatâs half full and encourage that concept in others.
- Visualize success. Picture the person you want to be. Visualization is a powerful tool.
- Continue self development. Remember that confidence is an ongoing process, not a destination. When you are consistently growing and learning, your confidence grows with you.
When you know your thoughts and actions are sincere, authentic and competent, you can embrace your self worth with unbreakable confidence.
